Doc in the house

Ahhh, you gotta love midday television. After another day of getting my Oprah injection, I was thrilled to see my fave doc in the house (well, other than House MD, of course) – none other than Dr Oz.

Look at him – awwww.

Now, moving on.

At the end of the episode he urged the studio audience and those of us hanging onto his every word at home to make a few changes – here are mine.

– Swap storebought chips for homemade chips, mash, plain potato, extra salad etc.
– Swap vending machine chips for nuts, yoghurt, fruit, rice cakes.
– Swap buying blocks of chocolate for fresh dates, Jarrah, fruit, nuts etc.
– Swap diet soft drink for green tea and water.

What are your ‘four swaps’?

I’m an idiot …

No need to argue the point all at once, folks.

Seriously, I am. What kind of FOOL tells the whole world she’s going to go for a walk in the stinking, filthy streets of Sydney on Australia Day? Well, I am an even bigger idiot and deserve to have rotten tomatoes thrown at me because, dear people, I did it. I walked my black tights-clad ass from home to Stanmore and I sweated off most of my facial features and a few body parts. Yep, if you see a one-armed lass with blurred lips, one eye and missing eyebrows, that’s me. What a hot (sweaty) mess I was. But, I did it. One hour. Before the BBQ. Hmmm, in my evil little mind this means one thing: delicious BBQ food is free to be devoured, cares thrown over my shoulders like a school girl’s legs on prom night.

But … once again, I must reinforce my point: I am a bloody IDIOT.

Not only did I profess the walking plans (which, by the way, freaking hurt my hips … early arthritis, anyone?), but I also claimed to create a healthy platter. Well, a semi-healthy platter with a few goodies thrown in for good measure. But before I launch in Photography For Beginners majoring in the Art of Plattery to show you that I did create such an Australia Day beast, I must brag about my other FF achievements today:

1. Delicious breakfast: 2 x Weetbix, blueberries, strawberries, skim milk
2. Delicious brunchy, lunchy, foody thing (BBQ lunch not until circa 3pm – “Meeeep!” my stomach cried: chopped banana, grapes, almonds and apple. Shared it with the boy and we enjoyed.

Anyhoo, without further ado, let’s move into Platter Town. Ready? Yeah, me either, but let’s just get it out of the way because I have a BBQ to get to and want to smash some serious chips and cheese on my day “off”. Hmmm. I mean, oh bugger it. You know me.

Exhibit 1: The platter.

Seriously, can you see all that healthiness? Please take a moment to cast your eyes over those succulent strawberries, juicy grapes and crunchy grapes (and spare a thought for all the filthy, sordid things I’ve got planned for the double brie cheese hiding innocently in the corner there).

Exhibit 2:

Finally, let’s move on to my favourite part of the segment – What’s hidden behind the chocolate flavoured door? Sssshh, you’ll find out soon enough. You see, I have a REALLY nasty afternoon planned with all kinds of crazy shit – and double brie’s not the only yummy caught in my blinding headlights.

Introducing, ladies and gentle, the man who’s going to make all my dreams come true this Australia Day – Red Rock Sea Salt man … mmmm. Oh yeah, please make him feel welcome.

Exhibit 3:

The final person in my plans is a chilling bottle of Obikwa (thank you Liquor Land), but he’s busy getting cold now and didn’t want to be disturbed. What can I say? When a bott bott wants to be left alone, you’ve just gotta respect that shiz.

Anyway, enough crapping on from me, I’ve got a BBQ to hit up and a steak sanga to dominate.

Happy Australia Day – hope yours is filled with all kinds of deliciousness, too.

xxxx

Grocery shopping is …

Sensational.

I had the most glorious grocery shopping marathon today with mrbooti. We trotted through the aisles with three rules (one enforced by me; two by him):

1. Must be healthy. No processed crap (a la delicious munchies such as bickies, chippies, lollies … all those tremendous treats that end in “ies”). Overload trolley with lots of leafy, green things and lean meaty things. Plenty of wholegrain action to boot, thanks.

2. Must be budget-conscious. Bulk-buy where possible and cook foods that stretch out to a few meals. Trying to save not splurge is hard when the aisles are splattered with expensive delights (we ended up spending a fortune – seriously, nearly punched the checkout chick in the face when she told me the total – but we’ve got enough food for the next week … or two … or three. No eating out for us).

3. Must be food that is EASY. Before we hit the shops, we read through 11 cookbooks, salivated, then left them in a heap on the floor. We’re not fancy peeps – gimme a good ol’ fish, homemade chips and salad and I’m hot to trot.

Verdit: shopping was joyous, oh so joyous, and I am actually feeling happy about hitting the kitchen! That’s a first – it’s been a long time (dare I say years?) since I’ve been excited about cooking. Tonight’s meal – leftovers (hey, a girl’s gotta have a night off in this town!).

PS: I am even MORE ridiculously happy and excited about tomorrow’s Oz Day festivities. Am preparing a half-healthy platter (I’m trying!) and am planning on going for an hour walk in the morning. Man, it’s been a while since I’ve deliberately exercised; I’ll probably need to take a physio to the BBQ instead of my man.

PPS: How are ya’ll doing?

Serve THIS at your next dinner party

Ingredients:

1 x stick of cabanossi (ripped into three pieces)
1 x piece of tasty cheese (ripped into three pieces)

Method:

1. Wrap each piece of cabanossi with a broken-up slice of cheese, so you are essentially left with three delicious semi-sausages-in-‘bread’.
2. Chomp. Enjoy. Repeat.

Dear Body

Dear Body,

Hello.

There’s something I’ve wanted to talk to you about for a long time and – put down the KFC drumstick! No, both of them! Wait, is that a snack box in your pocket?

Oh for F*CK’S SAKE!

Oh, you’re clearly not ready to talk to me yet.

I’ll try again soon.

Love, Booti.

Dust Yourself Off And Try Again…

Insane weekend.

Amazing. Thrilling. Loving. Friendly. Lazy. Social. Emotional.

Food-wise – lost the plot.
Non-incidental exercise (aka not shagging :P) – absent.
Grease factor – McDonald’s and Dirty Bird.
Choc factor – let’s not even go there.

I’ve written a plan. Yes, a new one. I’m doing one of my Top 10 Fave Things tomorrow night – grocery shopping – so I figured tonight is a fabulous chance to get my shite sorted and meal plan – something I haven’t properly done in months. Tracking makes such a difference when you’re trying to get healthy and boy, have I slacked off. So… let the tracking begin! I’m not going to make promised to myself like NO chocolate or NO lollies etc because I’ll do what I did this weekend (lets just say JT wasn’t the only one getting lucky – I had a BUNCH of Toblerone bars who were also shown who’s boss). I’m just going to try my best.

Hot Tips:

DRINK WATER – get over the fact I’ll be peeing every 20 minutes. Doing numbers ones never hurt me before – just drink the H20, fill the tum-tum, clear my skin and answer my thirst signals. Yay, water!
EXERCISE EVERY DAY – if there’s a chance to walk, do 50 star jumps, hell… do butt clenches at my desk (much to the dismay of my esteemed co-workers) – do it.
THINK – use my goddamn brain. Ask myself if I’m even hungry? Or bored? Or avoiding work? If unsure – drink water or green tea and “sit… and think some more” (Tinman-style).

That’s enough to remember for now.

Here are my meal plans for Mon-Friday this week.

e – exercise; b – breakfast; l – lunch; d – dinner; s – snacks (but only eaten as needed – if hungry)

MONDAY
e – taebo cardio
b – special k advantage and skim milk
l – wholemeal pasta and tuna sauce; banana
d – steamed vegies and steamed fish
s – yoghurt; apple; nectarine

TUESDAY
e – taebo cardio
b – 2 x multigrain weetbix, skim milk, berries
l – ww ham and salad sandwich; apple
d – steamed vegies, 1 x poached egg; brown rice
s – banana; pear; yoghurt; corn

WEDNESDAY
e – taebo cardio
b – 2 x multigrain weetbix, berries, skim milk
l – ww ham and salad sandwich; banana
d – steamed vegies and steamed fish
s – apple; pear; corn; yoghurt

THURSDAY
e – taebo cardio
b – special k advantage, berries, skim milk
e – yoga
l – wholemeal pasta and tuna sauce; banana
e – dancing – dancehall
d – steamed vegies; 1 x curried egg on soy and linseed toast
s – apple; pear; corn; yoghurt

FRIDAY
e – taebo cardio OR taebo flex OR 40 min walk OR 30 min walk/jog
b – 2 x multigrain weetbix, berries, skim milk, yoghurt
l – banana and 2 x soy and linseed toast
d – (with JT) – chicken burritoes using rye pita bread or rye mountain bread (both Core)
s – apple, pear, nectarine

SATURDAY & SUNDAY
e – 40 min walk each day – minimum

I have 22 sleeps before my FF photo shoot. Watch me get this done.