No need to argue the point all at once, folks.
Seriously, I am. What kind of FOOL tells the whole world she’s going to go for a walk in the stinking, filthy streets of Sydney on Australia Day? Well, I am an even bigger idiot and deserve to have rotten tomatoes thrown at me because, dear people, I did it. I walked my black tights-clad ass from home to Stanmore and I sweated off most of my facial features and a few body parts. Yep, if you see a one-armed lass with blurred lips, one eye and missing eyebrows, that’s me. What a hot (sweaty) mess I was. But, I did it. One hour. Before the BBQ. Hmmm, in my evil little mind this means one thing: delicious BBQ food is free to be devoured, cares thrown over my shoulders like a school girl’s legs on prom night.
But … once again, I must reinforce my point: I am a bloody IDIOT.
Not only did I profess the walking plans (which, by the way, freaking hurt my hips … early arthritis, anyone?), but I also claimed to create a healthy platter. Well, a semi-healthy platter with a few goodies thrown in for good measure. But before I launch in Photography For Beginners majoring in the Art of Plattery to show you that I did create such an Australia Day beast, I must brag about my other FF achievements today:
1. Delicious breakfast: 2 x Weetbix, blueberries, strawberries, skim milk
2. Delicious brunchy, lunchy, foody thing (BBQ lunch not until circa 3pm – “Meeeep!” my stomach cried: chopped banana, grapes, almonds and apple. Shared it with the boy and we enjoyed.
Anyhoo, without further ado, let’s move into Platter Town. Ready? Yeah, me either, but let’s just get it out of the way because I have a BBQ to get to and want to smash some serious chips and cheese on my day “off”. Hmmm. I mean, oh bugger it. You know me.
Exhibit 1: The platter.
Seriously, can you see all that healthiness? Please take a moment to cast your eyes over those succulent strawberries, juicy grapes and crunchy grapes (and spare a thought for all the filthy, sordid things I’ve got planned for the double brie cheese hiding innocently in the corner there).
Exhibit 2:
Finally, let’s move on to my favourite part of the segment – What’s hidden behind the chocolate flavoured door? Sssshh, you’ll find out soon enough. You see, I have a REALLY nasty afternoon planned with all kinds of crazy shit – and double brie’s not the only yummy caught in my blinding headlights.
Introducing, ladies and gentle, the man who’s going to make all my dreams come true this Australia Day – Red Rock Sea Salt man … mmmm. Oh yeah, please make him feel welcome.
Exhibit 3:
The final person in my plans is a chilling bottle of Obikwa (thank you Liquor Land), but he’s busy getting cold now and didn’t want to be disturbed. What can I say? When a bott bott wants to be left alone, you’ve just gotta respect that shiz.
Anyway, enough crapping on from me, I’ve got a BBQ to hit up and a steak sanga to dominate.
Happy Australia Day – hope yours is filled with all kinds of deliciousness, too.
xxxx