Wii Fit Plus is a bitch

I’m on Day 3 and my body feels like someone has beaten the shite out of me with House MD’s cane.

YOW.

Massage please?

Doc in the house

Ahhh, you gotta love midday television. After another day of getting my Oprah injection, I was thrilled to see my fave doc in the house (well, other than House MD, of course) – none other than Dr Oz.

Look at him – awwww.

Now, moving on.

At the end of the episode he urged the studio audience and those of us hanging onto his every word at home to make a few changes – here are mine.

– Swap storebought chips for homemade chips, mash, plain potato, extra salad etc.
– Swap vending machine chips for nuts, yoghurt, fruit, rice cakes.
– Swap buying blocks of chocolate for fresh dates, Jarrah, fruit, nuts etc.
– Swap diet soft drink for green tea and water.

What are your ‘four swaps’?

I’m an idiot …

No need to argue the point all at once, folks.

Seriously, I am. What kind of FOOL tells the whole world she’s going to go for a walk in the stinking, filthy streets of Sydney on Australia Day? Well, I am an even bigger idiot and deserve to have rotten tomatoes thrown at me because, dear people, I did it. I walked my black tights-clad ass from home to Stanmore and I sweated off most of my facial features and a few body parts. Yep, if you see a one-armed lass with blurred lips, one eye and missing eyebrows, that’s me. What a hot (sweaty) mess I was. But, I did it. One hour. Before the BBQ. Hmmm, in my evil little mind this means one thing: delicious BBQ food is free to be devoured, cares thrown over my shoulders like a school girl’s legs on prom night.

But … once again, I must reinforce my point: I am a bloody IDIOT.

Not only did I profess the walking plans (which, by the way, freaking hurt my hips … early arthritis, anyone?), but I also claimed to create a healthy platter. Well, a semi-healthy platter with a few goodies thrown in for good measure. But before I launch in Photography For Beginners majoring in the Art of Plattery to show you that I did create such an Australia Day beast, I must brag about my other FF achievements today:

1. Delicious breakfast: 2 x Weetbix, blueberries, strawberries, skim milk
2. Delicious brunchy, lunchy, foody thing (BBQ lunch not until circa 3pm – “Meeeep!” my stomach cried: chopped banana, grapes, almonds and apple. Shared it with the boy and we enjoyed.

Anyhoo, without further ado, let’s move into Platter Town. Ready? Yeah, me either, but let’s just get it out of the way because I have a BBQ to get to and want to smash some serious chips and cheese on my day “off”. Hmmm. I mean, oh bugger it. You know me.

Exhibit 1: The platter.

Seriously, can you see all that healthiness? Please take a moment to cast your eyes over those succulent strawberries, juicy grapes and crunchy grapes (and spare a thought for all the filthy, sordid things I’ve got planned for the double brie cheese hiding innocently in the corner there).

Exhibit 2:

Finally, let’s move on to my favourite part of the segment – What’s hidden behind the chocolate flavoured door? Sssshh, you’ll find out soon enough. You see, I have a REALLY nasty afternoon planned with all kinds of crazy shit – and double brie’s not the only yummy caught in my blinding headlights.

Introducing, ladies and gentle, the man who’s going to make all my dreams come true this Australia Day – Red Rock Sea Salt man … mmmm. Oh yeah, please make him feel welcome.

Exhibit 3:

The final person in my plans is a chilling bottle of Obikwa (thank you Liquor Land), but he’s busy getting cold now and didn’t want to be disturbed. What can I say? When a bott bott wants to be left alone, you’ve just gotta respect that shiz.

Anyway, enough crapping on from me, I’ve got a BBQ to hit up and a steak sanga to dominate.

Happy Australia Day – hope yours is filled with all kinds of deliciousness, too.

xxxx

You’ll put on weight just looking at this post …

But it’ll be worth it.

Happy Australia Day, people!

Translation: I think I put on 10 kilos this week.

My kinda heaven

Translation: let's get fat at the Gold Coast

This x 1000 for eight days is why boyfriend and I are being healthy … well, after Australia Day – a girl needs a bevvie in hand for that.

Grocery shopping is …

Sensational.

I had the most glorious grocery shopping marathon today with mrbooti. We trotted through the aisles with three rules (one enforced by me; two by him):

1. Must be healthy. No processed crap (a la delicious munchies such as bickies, chippies, lollies … all those tremendous treats that end in “ies”). Overload trolley with lots of leafy, green things and lean meaty things. Plenty of wholegrain action to boot, thanks.

2. Must be budget-conscious. Bulk-buy where possible and cook foods that stretch out to a few meals. Trying to save not splurge is hard when the aisles are splattered with expensive delights (we ended up spending a fortune – seriously, nearly punched the checkout chick in the face when she told me the total – but we’ve got enough food for the next week … or two … or three. No eating out for us).

3. Must be food that is EASY. Before we hit the shops, we read through 11 cookbooks, salivated, then left them in a heap on the floor. We’re not fancy peeps – gimme a good ol’ fish, homemade chips and salad and I’m hot to trot.

Verdit: shopping was joyous, oh so joyous, and I am actually feeling happy about hitting the kitchen! That’s a first – it’s been a long time (dare I say years?) since I’ve been excited about cooking. Tonight’s meal – leftovers (hey, a girl’s gotta have a night off in this town!).

PS: I am even MORE ridiculously happy and excited about tomorrow’s Oz Day festivities. Am preparing a half-healthy platter (I’m trying!) and am planning on going for an hour walk in the morning. Man, it’s been a while since I’ve deliberately exercised; I’ll probably need to take a physio to the BBQ instead of my man.

PPS: How are ya’ll doing?

Double brie love

Hi there!

I am currently devouring my way through a fridge full of cabanossi and double brie cheese and nursing a very chock-a-block tummy through endless pool and beach days at the Gold Coast. It’s a tough life but someone has to do it. Shall be in touch soon.

Much love,

missbooti.

PS: Hi Cathy, as you can see my Fat Fighting is not going so well. Boyfriend and I have grand plans for 2010 … let’s see what happens.

Tweety Bird

I’ve been cheating on you … and it’s getting kind of serious.

His name is Twitter and boy, oh boy, he’s really showing me a good time.

I don’t know if it’ll last (or whether it’s just a fabulous fling that makes me feel young and sexy again, sans muffin top), but I thought I should come clean. It’s been going on for some time and I didn’t want you to hear about it from anyone but me.

So there you have it.

I’m a Twitter addict.

If you’re keen to rekindle our sweet love, follow me @gabbymcmillan otherwise we shall meet again soon (no d0ubt on Christmas Day when I eat an entire BBQ chicken and have to write a farewell blog for fear of death by overeating).

Chat soon – and have a merry choccie-soaked Christmas!

xxx

What a fecking month

Heya kids.

It’s official: my brain has been squashed/shattered/shat on by that nasty little month called November.

Oh, what hideous month it has been. Amongst the nastiest of work as the festive season approaches, I took on that goddamn writing challenge – I set out on a mission to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I am proud to say I was successful – 50,033 words! It still hasn’t quite hit me what a whopping number of words that is, although I imagine the moment I am on holidays I will collapse on the ground screaming “I am fucking amazing”. The first draft of the novel isn’t complete yet; I plan on writing another 20,000 words or so and then the joyous process of editing/gutting/reworking shall begin. Can’t wait!

How are all the foodies out there? I must say I have been living on a diet of sausage rolls, cheese, cabanossi, Subway and chicken pad siew. Hhhhphf. Healthy eating is for new year’s resolutions, I say. Nahhh, the truth is, eating well sadly became a speck on the horizon in my priorities – my main plan for November was survive without losing my shit all over the work office; something I have achieved (although, my boyfriend would quickly point out the “shit losing” was saved for hometime with him. Poor bugger).

Anyhoo, now that I can breathe – almost – again, I just wanted to say hi. Say sorry for being a shit blogger. Oh, did I tell you I got personal business cards? I have so far handed them out to five people – my boyfriend,  my roommate, my workmate and two work experience kids. Ha! Clearly worth the purchase. I love them so much, though. Maybe I’ll start paying people to take them …

Ciao peeps xxx

Drop ’em, I dare you.

After a 12-hour day at work, complete with no lunch break, it’s fair to say I am stuffed/buggered/rat shit.
However, I have added the cherry to the top of this non-so appealing cake (nom nom) by doing four things tonight when I got home:

– Took off my pants. Sure, it scares away roommates, but there’s nothing like watching terrible TV (more info to come) with your legs liberated.
– Flicked on oh-so terrible TV in the form of “Momma’s Boy”. Made me feel better about own life.
– Ate large KFC chips (chicken salted) slowly, savouring every salty, delicious bite. Heaven.
– Cracked a cold one – this was the highlight. I felt like my father. Tres relaxing.

So there you have it, folks. The four-step secret to happiness and blissful feelings post cracker of a work day:

Dropping your pants; watching girls with fake boobs trying to impress whiney overbearing mothers; and indulging in trans fats and empty kilojoules. Delightful!