I’m in the middle of a food crisis.
For the past month or so, my workplace has been flooded, absolutely flooded, with free junk food. Cupcakes, ice-creams, chocolates, sausage rolls, chips, lollies, soft drinks. Did I mention even more cupcakes and ice-creams?
At the moment I’m sitting here with a tummy full of free sausage rolls and chocolates. I feel really sick and terrified about cracking out my Bond girl one-piece tomorrow at the beach.
My question to you: why the HELL do I eat, eat, eat, shovel, shovel, shovel, pig, pig, pig even when my high-waisted skirt is pressing up against my poor bloated belly more than a sleazy guy rubbing against a girl on the dance floor? I ask again: why the hell am I such a goddamn pig? Why do I take such pride in the amount of crap I can hoover into my gob? Riddle me this, people. Why the hell do tasty morsels like sauso rolls and peanut M&Ms put such a whopping smile on my dial? Because they do. They really do.
Help a gluttonous sister out. Please. Before my stomach explodes and the CSI guys find nothing more than my dental records and 40 digested sausage rolls.
